freakin' on: melanin

i just attempted to lay out in the back yard. i was out there for an agonizing 20 minutes per side WITH maui babe on, and i barely got any color. i'm seriously the palest person i know. seriously. as of late, i've really come to accept my skin tone... it helps to have a significant other who is appreciative of it. so i don't know why, but the last two weeks my pastyness has really been bothering me. i don't really notice it when i'm getting ready or whatever, but as soon as i leave the house and i look down to see two icicles hanging out of my skirt... well i get a little self conscious.

i thought i would attempt to do something about it... but i'm thinking i may just go get a tan misted on. as far as i am concerned, there is little difference between the weather in "the valley," los angeles, and the weather in "the valley," phoenix. it is unbearable, and no sane person should try to lay out in the summer in either location. especially if all it is going to accomplish is making you light headed.

i'm going to go melt now.

freakin' on: fashion

HOORAY! project runway is back!!! heidi klum is unpregnant, jeffery has neck tattoos, malan has a fake accent, alison is adorable, and vincent is completely off his rocker. i will miss daniel and santino, but hopefully some of the new bunch will prove just as interesting. this group already seems to be WAY more talented, so at least the fashion will be better. I CAN'T WAIT!

freakin' on: futbol

i haven't watched a single world cup game, but we are having a party for the finals tomorrow. i'm pretty excited about it because it is at 10:30am pst. this means we get to have a brunch, and i get to have a reasonable excuse to drink champagne. i'm making bellinis for italy and kir royales for france. i'm not exactly sure if kir royale is a french drink, but they did serve it at the france's kiosk when i went to the food and wine festival at epcot. that's as good as fact to me.

my summer theme is serving ethnic drinks at all our parties. so far i've only done margaritas, but after this weekend we will have "visited" 3 countries. it is kind of like being the thirsty traveler except i'm not canadian and i don't have to ever leave my house.

salud!
cin! cin!
a votre sante!

freakin' on: old times

i had some 1-on-1 one time with my matron of honor tonight. btw - she looks totally unmatronly. we reminisced about days gone by. warm desert nights cannot help but bring back memories of volleyball in the park and dancing all night at underage clubs. i can't help but feel like we are somehow leaving arizona behind. i'm in l.a. indefinitely, and she's en route to nyc. zona is the place we came of age, the place where i had the best time of my life... the summer of '98. it wasn't that long ago, but it seems so far away. i don't know how much longer this place will be home to the 3 of us, my old friends and i, but i know it will always be important. and thankfully, it will always be there.

freakin on: weddings

i'm getting fucking married, bitch!
Originally uploaded by kitalyn414.

i'm engaged. here's a photo to prove it. gil likes it because he says i am making my porno face. you know the face where it looks like you are doing something humiliating and really enjoying it... yeah... that face.

the carissa blogs again

ok so maybe you are sick of these posts where i announce my blogging return, so i won't do that. i also won't promise to blog on a regular basis. i will, however, explain my lack of recent blogging. basically, i've been feeling very torn between myspace blogging and blogger blogging. where to blog? i kind of like myspace blogging because it is more likely that people will read your blog and comment on it. however, the layout of blogger is much more appealing. i guess i'll just blog wherever i feel like. maybe i will reserve myspace for informational updates about my life and this site for random blogs. or maybe i will just use whatever is convenient at the moment. i guess you will never know. if you ever come here and are saddened by the lack of blogs, check here.

freakin' on: what ails ya

i'm a bad patient. no, a terrible patient. so bear with me while i complain about how sick i am. i'm freakin' sick. everything hurts. i'm hot with goosebumps and freezing while sweating. i can't breath through my nose and when i breath through my mouth my chest rattles and i fall into a coughing fit. it really freakin' sucks. i showered today, but i feel like i haven't bathed in a week. what i'd like to do is just take nyquil for like 24 hours straight because i can't stand the speediness of non-drowsy cold medication. it makes me feel psychotic. kind of like red bull and vodka but with less smiling and more echoing inside your head.

like i said... i'm a bad patient. just be glad i'm not puking.

freakin' on: forgetfulness

my grandmother is beginning to show signs of dimentia, and my mom is starting to repeat herself. not a lot, but just enough that i notice.

last week my therapist told me that i have to start writing stuff down. you know how in school you kept homework journal's to record your assignments? the only reason i did it was because ours required a signature from a parent. once i graduated past that point in my academic career, i never kept another homework journal. i stored all my assignments in my head. the only time i forgot something was probably in college, spring semester senior year, during my weather, climate and society class. at that point i couldn't give a crap about gen ed classes and refused to put much mental effort into it.

the problem is that now i am starting to forget stuff. mostly appointment times. i remember that i have an engagement, but the time i'm supposed to show up is somewhat fuzzy. this is very upsetting to me, even though i remember correctly most of the time. anyway, i guess i'm supposed to write these things down like a normal person, but i really like having a homework journal in my head.

yesterday i thought of something really good to blog about while i was cooking, but i can't remember what it is now. in lieu of that, i'll tell you about the dream i had last night.

i was in a plane full of strangers. there was a little girl sitting next to me. suddenly the engines cut off and the plane took a nose dive. i guess this is where i would have had that falling sensation you have in dreams, except i was too focused on the little girl. in a split second i recognized that she didn't have her seat belt on. i grabbed her around the waist with my left arm and clung for dear life as we plummeted towards the ground. i then experienced a series of thoughts. at first i was resisting what was happening, panicking and thinking that i didn't want to die. then i made peace with it, because i could do nothing to prevent the plane from crashing. as i became okay with my own death, i started worrying about the little girl. she was dangling below me as i had her around the waist. she wasn't freaking out or anything, but i tried to say some things to her to ease her mind. i don't remember what it was. my next thought was that although i was okay with dying, i was really sad about my mom. i thought about how upset she would be. i then started to think about how gil would feel, and at that very moment the engine's kicked back on and the plane leveled out.

in the end it turned out that the pilot actually shut off the plane by accident. i then had a vision of this random guy in the cockpit pulling the wrong lever and then having to fix his fatal mistake in the middle of a free fall and a plane full of screaming passengers. i wasn't even mad... i was IMPRESSED!!!