freakin' on: forgetfulness
my grandmother is beginning to show signs of dimentia, and my mom is starting to repeat herself. not a lot, but just enough that i notice.
last week my therapist told me that i have to start writing stuff down. you know how in school you kept homework journal's to record your assignments? the only reason i did it was because ours required a signature from a parent. once i graduated past that point in my academic career, i never kept another homework journal. i stored all my assignments in my head. the only time i forgot something was probably in college, spring semester senior year, during my weather, climate and society class. at that point i couldn't give a crap about gen ed classes and refused to put much mental effort into it.
the problem is that now i am starting to forget stuff. mostly appointment times. i remember that i have an engagement, but the time i'm supposed to show up is somewhat fuzzy. this is very upsetting to me, even though i remember correctly most of the time. anyway, i guess i'm supposed to write these things down like a normal person, but i really like having a homework journal in my head.
yesterday i thought of something really good to blog about while i was cooking, but i can't remember what it is now. in lieu of that, i'll tell you about the dream i had last night.
i was in a plane full of strangers. there was a little girl sitting next to me. suddenly the engines cut off and the plane took a nose dive. i guess this is where i would have had that falling sensation you have in dreams, except i was too focused on the little girl. in a split second i recognized that she didn't have her seat belt on. i grabbed her around the waist with my left arm and clung for dear life as we plummeted towards the ground. i then experienced a series of thoughts. at first i was resisting what was happening, panicking and thinking that i didn't want to die. then i made peace with it, because i could do nothing to prevent the plane from crashing. as i became okay with my own death, i started worrying about the little girl. she was dangling below me as i had her around the waist. she wasn't freaking out or anything, but i tried to say some things to her to ease her mind. i don't remember what it was. my next thought was that although i was okay with dying, i was really sad about my mom. i thought about how upset she would be. i then started to think about how gil would feel, and at that very moment the engine's kicked back on and the plane leveled out.
in the end it turned out that the pilot actually shut off the plane by accident. i then had a vision of this random guy in the cockpit pulling the wrong lever and then having to fix his fatal mistake in the middle of a free fall and a plane full of screaming passengers. i wasn't even mad... i was IMPRESSED!!!
posted by Keeta @ 8:41 AM
1 Comments:
"At The Bottom Of Everything"
(Bright Eyes)
So there was this woman and she was on an airplane, and she was flying to meet her fiancé seaming high above the largest ocean on planet earth. She was seated next to this man she had tried to start conversations, but the only thing she had really heard him say was to order his Bloody Mary. She was sitting there and she was reading this really arduous magazine article about a third world country that she couldn’t even pronounce the name of. And she was feeling very bored and despondent. And then suddenly there was this huge mechanical failure and one of the engines gave out, and they started just falling thirty-thousand feet, and the pilots on the microphone and he’s saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh my god” and apologizing. And she looks at the man and says “Where are we going?” and he looks at her and he says “We’re going to a party. It’s a birthday party. It’s your birthday party. Happy birthday darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much.” And then he starts humming this little tune, it kind of goes like this: 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
We must talk in every telephone
Get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues in the books that we have read
And in the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare
We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn’t dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing
It’ll go like this:
While my mother waters plants
My father loads his guns
He says death will give us back to god
Just like this setting sun is returned to this lonesome ocean
And then they splashed into the deep blue sea
It was a wonderful splash
We must blend into the choir
Sing as static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And in this endless race for property and privilege to be one
We must run, we must run, we must run
We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge
And then we’ll get down there, way down to the very bottom of everything
And then we’ll see it, oh we’ll see it, we’ll see it, we’ll see it
Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world’s waking up
All the city buses swimming past
I’m happy just because
I found out I am really no one
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