y'all suck!

i go to all the trouble to start posting again, & no one comments. y'all suck!

i suppose you are waiting in anxious silence to hear all about the kzla bash, but i don't remember the majority of it seeing as how the bf's friend is a bartender in the vip area of the verizon wireless ampitheater. by my calculations, i drank at least 120oz of coors light on saturday afternoon. yick! here is what i can tell you: leanne womack was all right, bret michaels was cool (played some poison songs), uncle cracker was suprisingly good, kid rock was so so (he was sick & there was no ba wid a bawing). the rest is extremely fuzzy. the bf made me leave before reba & rascall flats because he said i was being "onry." whatever!

anyway, i'm off to disney world. i'll be back in a week. don't miss me too much, suckers!!! PEACE OUT!

don't buy my shit!

okay this ebay thing is totally stressing me out. people are asking me questions that i don't have answers to, my grandma is all pissed because her "$5,000" (she tends to exaggerate) garment made of fuzzy animal epidermis sold for $300, and now i have to calculate shipping on items when i have no idea what they will be shipped in or how much they weigh. then there is the issue of getting paid. paypal, money order. it's really very complicated.

anyway, i'm charging my mom & grandma a 10% fee for pimping their shit on the internet. karen reminded me that is the standard agent fee, which is basically what i'm doing. so, today i made about $90. come to think of it, i really didn't do that much work. just think if i were pimping out an actual person. a person like grossly overpaid cameron diaz. then i would have made $1,200,000 today and probably done even less work.

just to be clear, in no way do i think $1.2 mil is worth becoming an agent.

leave it to bushie!

watch this flash movie!

walt disney world - the itinerary (i don't care that you don't care)

now i will subject you all to my walt disney world itinerary. i'll have you know that i spent a RIDICULOUS amount of time working this schedule out. yes, i am a freak.

Day 1 – Tuesday, October 12: Arrive & get settled. We have dinner reservations at 7:20pm at The Callifornia Grill, located on the 15th floor of the Contemporary Resort. We'll arrive at the Contemporary at around 6:30ish and get drinks at their bar while the sun sets. The restaurant dims its lights during the Magic Kingdom’s fireworks show (8pm) and pipes in the music. After dinner, we'll go to Jellyrolls (dueling piano bar) on the Boardwalk, or go to Pleasure Island. I figure we can play that by ear.

Day 2 – Wednesday, October 13: Rise & shine bright and early. It's early entrance day at Epcot, so we will head there first thing in the morning. We'll leave around lunchtime, & then head to Disney MGM Studios. MGM doesn’t have enough attractions to make up a full day, so I made sure we are there in the evening to see Fantasmic. I haven’t made any reservations for this day. This might be a good night for Pleasure Island.

Day 3 – Thursday, October 14: Animal Kingdom. We’re going to try to be there before the park opens (9am) so that we can get on one of the first safari rides of the day. Apparently the early morning and late evenings are when you have the best chance to see some of the bigger animals (lions & tigers, no bears). I’ve made a reservation at Boma, a buffet restaurant in the Animal Kingdom Lodge at 6:10pm. If we run out of things to do at Animal Kingdom, which sounds like a possibility, we can try to adjust our reservation or just head over to the restaurant. Another option is to arrive a little later to the park and make sure that we are on one of the last safaris of the day. If we go to Pleasure Island the night before, we might prefer the second option.

Day 4 – Friday, October 15: We have an 8:10am reservation at the Crystal Palace on Main Street inside the Magic Kingdom. We’ll get to enter the park early since we have breakfast reservations. This is a buffet-style “character meal,” meaning that Winnie the Pooh will come by to give us hugs while we eat eggs. Piglet will be there too. We’ll spend the whole day at the Magic Kingdom. For lunch we’ll take the monorail to the Grand Floridian Resort where we have a reservation at the Grand Floridian Café at 1:30pm. I figure we’ll take a break from the theme park for a bit & check out the hotel. It is supposed to be really nice! We’ll head back to the park after that and stay for the Spectromagic Parade and Wishes Fireworks show.

Day 5 – Saturday, October 16: Epcot. We’ll spend the whole day here. The International Food & Wine Festival will be going on, and I guess there will be little food stands set up with samples in every country. The only reservation I’ve made is at Biergarten in Germany for 6:10pm. It is basically an Oktoberfest themed-restaurant with an oom-pah band & a bunch of German beer. From there we’ll stake out a spot to watch Illuminations. We could go out to Pleasure Island after this if we were so inclined (though I would assume that it gets awfully busy on Saturday nights).

Day 6 – Sunday, October 17: Do whatever we feel like doing until it is time to leave.

buy my shit!

in the immortal words of navin r. johnson, "step right up and buy some crap." think of all the possibilities!!! you could show kevin federline who the real pimp daddy is. you could fool your prey into thinking you are one of them and then gun them down, skin them & sew their flesh into another gorgeous frock, thereby continuing the cycle! you could spike the punch at your luncheon with everclear. strip bridge anyone?

all the while, i'll be getting rich off your purchases. this sounds like the perfect arrangement to me. afterall, i love money, you need some crap that you will never use and my mom has always wanted to enter the witness protection program.

HAPPY BIDDING! (i accept paypal payments only.)

guess who's back?

allrighty then. i'm back to blog it up. so put on your reading caps. (don't worry, you probably won't have to keep them on for long as i have the attention span of a 2 year old).

here is what you have missed in my terribly exciting life:

1. this saturday i'm going to see my imaginary boyfriend in concert. funny how my real boyfriend paid for the tickets.

2. i leave for the happiest place on earth next tuesday. as you are sitting in front of your computer longing for this blog to be updated, i will be participating in a magical fairy tale adventure filled with friendly creatures, handsome princes, massive employee discounts, and tons of alcohol. be jealous, be very jealous.

3. i'm thinking of dying my hair brown. please share your feelings on this subject. also, please disregard the images of britney spears on that site. in no way do i wish to emulate her backwoods white-trash self. although, having "pimp daddy" embroidered on a juicy suit for your hubby to be is a suprisingly classy touch.

4. my job is still boring & i still come here everyday. mostly because i really like money.