FANTASY FILM LEAGUE

thanks to karen for sending me this site. if you guys want to create a fantasy film, the deadline is wednesday (the new season starts July 1).

anyway, if you do, let me know and i will create a "little league" where we can compete against eachother. either that or we could all just join the league karen and i are already in.

what does it all mean?

watch the video on this page. then PLEASE tell me what the hell it means? are W's people saying that kerry is like hitler or are they saying that the democrats said that W is like hitler? it's all so confusing!!!

p.s. laughlin is my new favorite place.

rupublican decency patrol 2004!

ok... now this is ironic!


or is it? either way, it is FUCKED up!

jet setting

i'm off to fabulous laughlin, nevada this weekend kiddies. that's right, all the frivolous money-wasting and ungodly heat of vegas in the summer without any of the glam or glitz. i plan to thoroughly explore my white trash roots wile there. though i suspect my family would not agree that such roots exist, i like to think that they do. otherwise, how will i ever relate to my boyfriend?

laughlin does have one thing vegas does not however, and it isn't a plethora of low-end call girls. after all, i'm sure you could find those somewhere in vegas. maybe at the locals' casinos??? anyway, laughlin has the colorado river, and we all know that river=semi-drunken boating and country and/or classic rock. how much more can a girl ask for?

i can't wait. pass me the sb.

date update!

opted to get drunk at barney's beanery instead of seeing "the terminal" or "the stepford wives." i am confident that it was a good decision.

"dodgeball"... who knew!?!

the new lady

i have developed a new technique of thwarting the new lady's efforts to drive me ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!! no matter what i am doing... on the phone, playing internet games, blogging, picking my nose, whatever... she will NEVER say "carissa, i need to ask you a question," or "hey can i ask you something?" she never introduces her presence. she just stands behind me at my desk waiting for me to notice her. she will hover there for minutes on end. i have stopped noticing, or at least acknowledging that i notice her. it's a standoff now everytime. when she finally gives in, let me tell you, there is such thing as a stupid question.

new lady (nl): i have a question about conference calls.
me: yes?
nl: how do i make them?
me: ummm, you call the first person you need, press conference, call the next person & press conference to connect the line. i think it is in the handbook or something.
nl: ok so i press conference, then dial the number, then press conference. then i pick up a new line and press conference?
me: no, you pick up a line, call the first person, press conference, call the next person, press conference. then you'll put the call on hold so kevin [her boss] can pick up the line.
nl: ah i see. so i call the first person, press conference, put them on hold, then call the next person...
me: no no NO! CALL THE FIRST PERSON. PRESS CONFERENCE. CALL THE NEXT PERSON. PRESS CONFERENCE. then you will have all the people on the line, put it on hold so kevin can pick up.
nl: what do you mean so kevin can pick up?
me: well, aren't you making the call for kevin?
nl: yes
me: then i guess he would want to talk to the people on the line?
nl: yes
me: well, how would he talk to them unless you put the line on hold so he can pick up? if you are on the line, he can't pick it up. you guys have the same phone lines.
nl: i don't get it.


GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*NOTE* the only person who MAY appreciate this is karen. sorry, just had to get it out there.

when choosing a date movie...

... one must be very careful. you want to pick something that both people will enjoy, but the level of enjoyment should be scaled to the amount you feel that you like the person and want to continue seeing them. let me explain. when you see a movie you like in the theater, you will usually remember who you were with when you saw it. like, i saw "old school" with julie. she was a perfect match for said movie as we are good friends, have similar senses of humor and will continue to be friends for some time. now when i think about "old school" i think to myself, "oh yeah, i saw that with julie. i remember how we both really laughed at the part where will farrell says 'i think i see blue. he looks glorious!"

now, imagine if i had seen "old school" with some random dude i was on a date with. someone who i thought was ok, but had no real intention of continuing to see for a long period of time. everytime i thought about "old school" i would think, "oh i saw that with [insert random dude's name here]. hmm, he didn't really laugh at the parts i thought were funny, like when will farrell kicks the old lady's shopping cart at the end and yells, 'YOU KNOW IT!"

anyway, you are getting the point. if you are unsure about someone, your best bet is to pick a movie that will be entertaining, but not TOO good. that way you don't run the risk of the movie being associated with someone who turns out to be terrible/a loser/annoying/bad in bed.

fyi - i will be seeing "the stepford wives" or "the terminal" tomorrow evening.

for all your whale killing pleasure

blubbery bastard!

sure plays a mean pinball

lock up some perps.

what to say?

i'm trying to figure out what to talk about today. i couldn't think of anything yesterday, but didn't want to keep my adoriing public waiting for too long! i'm trying to decide how personal i want to get on here. after all, i don't know if it is appropriate for you people to know EVERYTHING about me, but one can only be so interesting talking about celebrities and entertainment. AND... one can hardly be interesting at all talking about politics. so, shall i entertain you with my weekend (and sometimes weekday) escapades? or would that be TMI ("too much information" for the internet-acronym-challenged)?

my top 10 eighties songs!

in ALPHABETICAL order:

1. Ah-ha – Take On Me
2. David Bowie – Let’s Dance
3. Kim Carnes – Betty Davis Eyes
4. Dramarama – Anything, Anything
5. Joe Jackson – Steppin’ Out
6. Love and Rockets – So Alive
7. Men Without Hats – The Safety Dance
8. Modern English – I’ll Melt With You
9. The Cure – Just Like Heaven
10. Thompson Twins – Hold Me Now


add yours...

oh holy jesus

ghetto fabulous?

the last comic standing wins a date with carissa...

... but only if the last comic standing happens to look something like this:


please meet my new boyfriend, gary gulman.

he's a little bit country AND a little bit rock and roll

time to resurrect that age old debate, kiddies. is kid rock more white trash or more rock star?

i'm gonna have to go rock star. here's why: there is just something about this man that makes you want to shotgun silver bullets in a concert venue's parking lot. something about him that begs to have various undergarments tossed at him while he pounds around stage screaming his name. something about him that makes you want to sway a lighter in the air during a heartfelt rock ballad. something about him that suggests it would be a good idea to take your top off in broad daylight while you are perched on some drunk stranger's shoulders.

of course all these constitute some decidedly white-trash behavior, but isn't that what being an american is all about?

now the only questions are, why hasn't he sceduled any west coast appearances on his tour AND if/when he does, how do i get backstage passes?

asses and elephants

for the longest time (really about 3 years) i have been asking my self, "self, why did you spend the majority of your youth as a republican?" i've been racked with guilt. barely able to live with myself! today i was reminded of the answer.

npr aired a commentary on reagonomics this morning, providing snippets from reagan's inaugural speech in 1980. reagan made lots of lofty promises to scale back the government and deregulate the economy. in addition he vowed to cut taxes and curb government spending. (he did the former but actually upped the latter in the effort to bankrupt the soviet union.) anyway, i'm going to avoid critiquing the merits of reaganomics, mostly because i have no idea what i am talking about. what i am going to do is justify my life as a republican for, oh let's say, 11 years.

by the time i got to high school and began to learn what the parties stood for, i really felt fortunate that i actually agreed with the ideologies of the republicans that i had been identifying myself with up until that point. (come on, unless you're alex p. keaton, you just kind of go with the family flow.) from what i remember, and i won't claim that it is much, repulicans = less government and democrats = more government. that was the fundamental basic that i remember being pounded into my brain over and over again. from where i stood, less government sounded great! i don't want the government telling me what to do after all. the great fucked up thing about this is the fact that this is not what the parties PRACTICE at all. i just didn't notice that. (i was an academic type who dealt more with ideas than reality.)

i guess i kind of feel like the parties hopped in bed with the educational system to pull the wool over my eyes. today, it is clear that the republicans are not about less government. much to the contrary. the fcc is a great example because, of course, it is a matter of national security if i see a little t & a on the boob tube. if something isn't done, i may not be able to have an abortion... even if i NEED one for medical reasons. now, i understand that the republicans do support less government when it comes to protecting the environment & meeting the medical needs of the sick/elderly, but who in their right and socially conscious mind could be in favor of such things?

ok i'm sick of typing about this, so i'm not even going to bother wrapping it up and making a nice neat little point. bottom line, kerry in 2004!

on willpower...

i will have you all know, that when i am not blogging on my own blog or blogging on someone else's blog, i am trying with all my might to not eat chocolate and/or instant message my (recently) ex boyfriend. the problem with this is that the inability (due to irreconcilable differences) to IM josh only feeds the need for chocolate. the endless supply of mini-hershey's and reese's peanut butter cups in the kitchen here doesn't help.

with 4:00pm (the snacking hour) upon me, please provide suggestions as to how i may avoid doing both of the aforementioned offenses. i cannot do it through willpower alone.

please take a moment to appreciate this.

casey - carissa - ben

it started simply enough. girl meets boy. boy falls for girl. girl falls for boy due to his adorable sweetness and taste in acting roles. then it gets complicated. boy has older brother. older brother happens to be taller and wealthier (though decidedly less talented) than boy. girl ignores this fact, asserting that she really wants the nice boy, the one who is faithful and contemplative and doesn't have a gambling/alcohol problem. boy, girl, and older brother hang out at various family functions where girl realizes older brother is actually quite charming in person, not to mention really "effin" hot. older brother and girl get to talking and girl chastises older brother for being in shitty movies. (most people would be annoyed by this, but older brother is really insecure and happens to go for women that put him down. you know, it becomes like a challenge for him to prove himself.) anyway, older brother is so impressed with girl's cunning wit and discerning taste when it comes to the entertainment industry that he starts to seek her opinion when he is choosing roles. older brother sends scripts to boy, then manages to call him up for feedback when boy "happens" to be away and girl is there to take the call. "what did you think" turns into "let's fuck" and... well... how's a girl to resist?

so you see casey, it can never work between us. your brother has 3.5 inches on you. what did you expect?

pierce brosnan. too old to be on "the list"?

nevermind too old. how about too boring?

talk amongst yourselves.


p.s. christy is a thomas crown sluta.

to anonymouseseses

is there a way for you guys to post with your names? that would be killer!

also - zach i don't REMEMBER the majority of my better karaoke moments. though becki (with an "i") seemed to work quite well for me this weekend.

thank you karen!

the fact that morrissey is a brit is secondary to the fact that he is a musician. i'm a firm believer that one should not mix music with politics (to this day i can't get the images of bill and hilary dancing to "don't stop" out of my mind.) bad dancing (a mortal sin, imo) aside, wouldn't it have made more sense if he said he wanted bush to die IN ADDITION to reagan? morrissey, your name is nearly as cool as my last name, but let's start thinking a bit. reagan is an old fart. bush is just a dumb fart.

if it didn't work for the dixe chicks (god bless texas), it's not going to work for morrissey!

welcome!

well, i am creating a blog because zach said i should. he and christy seem to be under the false impression that i have anything interesting to say at all. i guess we will soon see. for now, not exactly sure what i should write about. i'll probably have to think of something really taboo or controversial to talk about a la "the washintonienne" to attract an audience, but as of yet i have never been paid for sex and do not know of any high powereds that i could expose as freaks. (i'll get crackin' on that asap.)

so topic-wise, any suggestions from the peanut gallery? (that's about 2-3 peanuts at this point.)

HELP ME OUT PEOPLE!